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Myth or Fact
Last Post 21 Feb 2012 11:00 PM by justme. 4 Replies.
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SkyeUser is Offline
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05 Apr 2010 01:33 PM

    Sexual addiction is a hot topic these days thanks to some major celebrities admitting their addiction. Just as the medical and psychiatric communities can not seem to agree on a diagnosis, the general public also is in a state of confusion.

    Take for example Tiger Woods, and Jesse James ( not the outlaw but the husband of Sandra Bullock).Bothe men were not humiliated when they got caught, not even when they  said that he was sorry.

    Perhaps, and t his is just athought, but , Woods humiliated himself  when he implied that something was wrong with his head, and that he was undergoing therapy to cure his intense desire to have sex with women. Does itnot soulnd a  little like he was saying that to be a regular healthy male was a psychiatric condition?

    Question- If Tiger Woods were single, would he be diagnosed with sex addiction? Probably not. Isn’t it absurd that the diagnosis of a person’s apparent addiction is based on his marital status?

    Psychiatrists say no way. They say that since Woods was willing to destroy his marriage and his relationship with his children for the sake of sex, he must be addicted to the act.

     

    Is that a ridiculous argument. I mean perhaps Woods had his affairs because he was confident he would get awaywith them. He managed to be very discreet until a string of events exposed him. He showed no signs of a man who was out of control, who was desperate to do anything for his fix, risking all that he valued.

    The fact  is that Woods and Jesse James made a moral decision and that was to go and realise thier desires to sleep around. If we judged ourselves by our desires alone, we would have a perpetual sheepish grin on our faces. We can reasonably judge ourselves only by our actions, and morality is about controlling our own actions. So if a man decides to lose that control, is it not  a moral issue, instead of a psychiatric matter.

    Is it possible that by interpreting high sex drive as a disorder it is not only unjust, but also dangerous. In the past, lawyers defending paedophiles and rapists have argued with some success that their clients suffer from high testosterone levels that made them commit the crimes. Elevating the case of sex addiction to the level of an ailment would further help criminals and also blur the  logic of morality that keeps our world somewhat sane.

    Regardless of semantics or preconceptions, if someone feels that their sexual practices or obsessions are making their life unmanageable, it is recommended to seek out a professional counselor that specialized in addiction.

    Just a thought

    Recovery is Contagious...Start an Epidemic
    justmeUser is Offline
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    09 May 2010 10:49 PM

    My own experience has taught me that sexual addiction is not a matter of high libido, but it is a guilt driven obsession whose ultimate goal is shame and self loathing. It is an obsession that demands secrecy that is fueled by the misconceptions and attitudes of the outside world; much as alcohol and drug addictions were before the effectiveness of recovery programs proved their validity. The fierce misunderstanding adds to the denial and shame that the afflicted fearfully keep to themselves.

    However just like the other aforementioned addictions, this does not exonerate the person afflicted; he/she is still accountable for his/her actions. No condition is a license for inappropriate action. Those who by the Grace of God had been given reprieve understand that, Morally and legally the are and should be held responsible.

    Also like all addiction the end result is the same. Guilt shame and fear. I have found that since those factors have a solution in the 12 steps; that the steps, and the willingness to apply them to sexual addiction can and does work.




    CarolUser is Offline
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    10 May 2010 09:54 AM

    The idea of blaming bad behavior on an addiction is not new -- there was a case many many years ago of a kid whose addiction to Twinkies supposedly led him to murder; there have been similar cases involving an addiction to TV or video games.

    It is very much a cop-out to blame an addiction without doing something about it.  And once corrective action is taken, if the behavior continues, then it's a matter of old behavior not being old behavior.

    Sadly, we have become a society of victims -- "It's not my fault -- I have an addiction" .  There is a solution, but those afflicted  have to make the effort to seek it out and practice it, otherwise they remain victims by choice.

    JMHO



    Be the change you wish to see in the world ...Gandhi
    LibraUser is Offline
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    06 Jan 2012 05:00 PM
    Truckerdan has it right. Sex addiction is a real addiction, like anything that you cannot stop doing, compulsive acting out whether it is sex, drugs, alcohol, gambling, Ebay.....you name it, is acting out. If you cannot stop, yes, go to a counselor and find a 12 step group that works for your addiction. Blaming our actions on our addictions are NOT what anyone in recovery does. Sex addiction is still obviously misundertood as the majority of posts here suggests.
    justmeUser is Offline
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    21 Feb 2012 11:00 PM
    Misunderstood or not the is a solution that is available both online and in rooms of recovery. Like the saying in AA goes "if you think you have a problem, you probably do". But Just like a person who is under the influence is accountable, so are those that are addicted to things other than alcohol and drugs.
    We have excused our inappropriate behaviors far too long, and lived with the guilt equally as long. If an addict of any kind is not willing to do what is required to gain a daily reprieve, then no complaint or excuse should be accepted for the actions.
    ~ Big Wheels Keep on Rollin'~
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