Hi, I'm Spike, and I'm not sure just who I "am" anymore in 12-Step parlance...but I'm heading back to the rooms after 12 years away -- 16 years since I was last court-ordered to attend.
My immediate issue is finding 2 meetings per week for the next 8 weeks which I can get to on public transit without taking a whole day at it. The real long-term issue is how the freek my morals got so LIMP that I fell fell off the wagon after a decade and a half sober!
I suspect that this question will only be answered when my DEARLY LOVED (3rd) husband (of 10 yrs duration) finally decides to get serious about his own addictive issues (behavioral, not substance) and quit giving me every reason to lose my mind two or three times per year. I mean please, how long can one half of a partnership be expected to behave well when the other half is behaving so badly?
So here I go again "into the system," sigh...
This new court-ordered once-weekly-for-eight-weeks regime is irritating in the near-term, but is infinitely preferable to "jails, institutions, and death." I've had the first two, several times over, and believe me they're not much fun.
Be seein' ya -- Spike