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Guy vs Man
Last Post 21 Jan 2015 02:53 AM by Terry02. 15 Replies.
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RecoveryRealm AdminUser is Offline
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29 Jun 2007 06:01 PM

     

    I have heard it said, "If my father was the head of the house, my mother was its heart." A man isn't the soft comforting lap the kids sit on to be rocked to sleep, or the kiss that makes owwies all better.

    He may be called on to do those things sometimes, but he's not really constructed for it. A man is the solidity in his family, the rock that can't be broken. He's also the wall that shields them from storms, and the roof that keeps their heads dry. Which usually means getting rained on or wind-beaten himself.

    That's the essence of being a man. Sometimes what you have to do sucks. That's the way it is. A man has both rights and duties, but when there's a conflict between them, duty always wins. Period.

    Your rights will be compromised over and over, but your responsibilities must never be. A man does what needs doing and worries about his rights some other time.

    Are you  man enough to get and stay  clean and sober, for yourself  and for those you call family.

    Don't be a guy. The world is full of guys. Be a man.

     


    Be Part of the Solution...Not the Problem !
    LarryUser is Offline
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    29 Jun 2007 06:29 PM

    Thanks Skye. A site for the guys. Now I need to figure out what to post. Liked what you said. I can so relate.

    It's a good day to be sober
    Glenn HUser is Offline
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    01 Jul 2007 03:40 AM

    Happy Birthday Skye and thanks for this site and this section. Now how are you going to keep Melly and the ladies out of here so we can talk about them? LOL

    I do not think that when drinking and in the throws of my disease that I was ever a man. Not sure if I could have qualified as a guy either. I was more like an immature little boy who threw temper tamntrums when he failed to get his way in life.

    It wasn't until I was taught by other men in recovery what it meant to not only be a sober member of society but a sober man as well that I grew up. By then of course I had divorced and broke hearts of friends and family and had anything but my son's blessing.

    In recovery, applying the principals in all my affairs I have become a man. A good son and father and grandfather (at 45 WHAAAAA!). I have become a good employee and co-worker, friend and sponsor to others. All I have learned about being a man I learned here in recovery. I finally grew up and put down the drink and took my rightful place in society. A spiritual man among men, a spiritual person among people.

     

    Namaste

    Center your heart, and cultivate your spirit.
    chelleUser is Offline
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    01 Jul 2007 02:03 PM

    hey folks. (((hugs))) for you all

    i am not a man of course, but i totally respect what you said.  leaving now. lol

    love and hugs,

    chelle

    I've never dropped anyone I believed in... Marilyn Monroe
    chelleUser is Offline
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    01 Jul 2007 02:04 PM
    P.S,
    when i came in here, i didn't realize it was men's only. sorry. *blushing*
    I've never dropped anyone I believed in... Marilyn Monroe
    stickmonkeyUser is Offline
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    03 Jul 2007 08:01 AM
    oh no..........we have been infiltrated.......lol
    kimUser is Offline
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    05 Jul 2007 11:24 AM

    *tip toes out the door hiding behind chelle*

    ~*~ "Patience, Grasshopper!!" ~*~
    cannonUser is Offline
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    31 Aug 2007 12:10 AM
    well nicely said im in the process of growing up as we all. once i was a boy today m growing in to a man. i say growing because every here and there i still like doing what i want ot do.


    just for today im a man
    hay dont forget to tip the pizza man
    HobieUser is Offline
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    24 Oct 2007 07:38 AM

    Very good lead here.

    I realize that in the process of becoming a "sensitive and caring" person and letting go of some of that macho BS that I have let go of some of that inner strength and outer toughness that made me able to stand in the wind and the rain when I needed to be there for the sake of my responsibilities.

    Thanks

    hobie

    What I am recovering is my life!
    What I have recovered is my soul!
    JimsterUser is Offline
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    08 Nov 2008 07:10 AM

    "Don't be a guy. The world is full of guys. Be a man." 

     

    Nicely put.  This is what I strive for.  To be a man!  But how to do this????  That's awhole issue in itself.  Like most I've been an errant boy most of my life.  Yes there have been situations when I stepped up to the plate, but for the most part I've been to self centered to truly care.  When I first got sober my daughters where babies.  After a few more years of research(drinking), now they're teens, and for the most part have not had a man in their lives.  Now they look at me as someone who might never be a man.  I can't blame them.  Now that I've put some sobriety time together(3 years)I'm being hit with alot of stuff that can make or break a man.  The past year has been uncertain, to say the least.  Actually the only constant has been my sobriety.  I guess right now, that's all I can do.  As my sponser says, Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and keep doing the next right thing.

     

    "The times, they are a changing"
    aereausUser is Offline
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    05 Dec 2008 03:15 AM

    I agree in principle but I believe that we are human first and a gender second.

    Since coming to Denmark and not being allowed to work for the first 3 years, I have had to be Mother and Father to my 4 year old son. I am very lucky in this. Not many men can say that they are as close to their child as I can. I have kissed boo-boos, cuddled him to sleep, along with all the other traditional female duties that are needed to run a house.

    But yes, I am a man and have had to those things also. I believe that there is still too much placed on gender roles in our society and it causes conflicts. Women are not given proper credit for who they are. Biologists know that women are the stronger sex. Men are expendable, because it only takes one man to impregnate hundreds of women. Male babies are weaker over all and women on average live 5% longer.

    These last 4 years have given me an appreciation for what women go through. Our western society expects them to do it all... raise kids, keep a house and maybe have a career on top of it. While men are expected to do what they normally do... whatever they want.

    OK that maybe a bit harsh but in a lot of cases it's true. And it also true that to be a man, the rock of the family takes a clear sober head. In this there is wisdom.

    FredUser is Offline
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    16 Mar 2009 07:39 AM
    Hey guys;
    Well I have come in here and read the posts a few times since coming to the realm. Mind you I came here almost two months ago. I just had to get some time under my belt and now I really understand what this post was all about.
    I have come to understand that if I was anything before recovery I was just a guy. I am not even quite sure I would say I was that. However I can say that since coming back into the rooms of AA and really working a serious program. I have discovered that I am becoming the MAN I need to be and I love it. I also have to say that I am glad to see that we have a section like this in the forums. I do have one question though. Since we have such a place. How come noone has been in here in over 3 months? Just had to leave you all with that thought. I am glad to be here and sober for one more day and very thankful for all of you here at the realm.

    T Bear(Fred)
    FredUser is Offline
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    14 Apr 2010 05:36 PM
    Wow;
    I just came back in here and read. I discovered the last time I was in this section of the forums I had but a couple of months sober. I still feel much gratitude for recovery and everyone here at the realm. I now have a little over 15 months clean/sober. This has been and continues to be one very beautiful journey. I also noticed though that the last time I was in this section was the last time anyone was in this section. Just wondering why that is. Can anyone tell me?
    Your Friend In Recovery,
    Fred
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    18 Apr 2010 04:29 AM

    Well fred it seems to me the male members of this site wish to  remain silent or perhaps Completly anonymous. Ya think they are  much shyer than  the woman , and  just can't come out of their shells and  share?


    Be Part of the Solution...Not the Problem !
    FredUser is Offline
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    18 Apr 2010 12:30 PM
    None of the folks here seam to be all that shy in the fellowship room. Lol. You would think that some of the guys would have stuff to post here. Either or that or maybe thats just it. None of the fellows are posting here in this section because they are all working everything out with everyone in the chat rooms. Anyway. I thought it was neat to come back in here and read the posts. As I said in my last post. I am and forever will be Very Grateful to Everyone here at the Realm. After all it was all of you who got me such a great start in recovery. :-)
    TerryUser is Offline
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    21 Jan 2015 02:53 AM
    Yeah.
    I'm a man.
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