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Something new

Jul 21

Written by:
7/21/2013 1:57 PM  RssIcon

So here I go.  This is my first time "blogging".  I guess this is perfect for me.  I have agoraphobia and social anxiety disorder. It's hard for me to get out and be "social" and meet new people.  Especially in the rooms.  I want so desperately to change.  I have no Idea who I am and no idea where I'm going.  I just want to be "normal" (whatever that is).  Unfortunately my version of normal is accompanied by using.  That is the only time I feel like my true self.  It's like the person trapped inside of me comes out when I am high.  I'm not as uptight or shy.  I'm outgoing, relaxed and I even feel like I'm a better mom.  Yes,  I am a mom.  A mom with a fucking problem.  My kids deserve better.  I don't want to use. I want to change.  I want to be that person trapped inside me all the time.  Without drugs.  I want to change.

9 comment(s) so far...


Re: Something new

OMG,It was like reading somthing i would have wrote.This is totally me.I am a mom ad i also have bi-polar, and deppression.Whe i use i feel like i am a better mother and person, more out going,ot shy.It feels more normal when i use.But i know thats wrong. I dont want to use anymore either,it suck to be where i am at,It sucks to be me!

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