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The BlogRealm provides bloggers, addicted to alcohol or drugs, a place to publish their personal thoughts and commentaries on recovery, addiction and on life as they see it. It is a collection of blogs (or journals) written by a diverse company of individuals from around the world.

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Still Lost

Aug 22

Written by:
8/22/2013 7:42 AM  RssIcon

This is my first time to do anything like this. Its kinda cool, im not so nervous. When i go meetings i dont ever share. I have been in and out of meetings for about 5 years. I am a 39 year old mother,and i have nothing,i've lost everything.Everything except my 6 year old son. I am dealing with cps Right now, i almost lost him this time (this is my 3 rd. time).I also have 2 more children who my mother has,ot becouse of cps but i coldnnt take care of them .Now i dont get to see them much or even talk to them much. They really dont want much to do with me, they dont really know me. I am so lost ,dont know where to start. I have so many thigs to fix . I kow i have to startwith myself, I would  die if i lost my 6 year old chase, i love him so much,he is all i have left./ He loves me so much. My whole family has disowend me. I feel so alone inn this world.I dont want this for my baby,he deservers so much more than this life.i have to change"NOW".

Location: Blogs Parent Separator "LOST"

3 comment(s) so far...


Re: Still Lost

I know exactly how you feel, I think any parent would that has an addiction problem. You have to start caring about yourself whether of not you feel like it otherwise the pain you feel will someday become that of one or all of your kids. Just act as if and it gets easier. Didn't it get easier to accept behavior in yourself that you never thought could be possible but once our best friend (the bottle, beer , drugs , gambling and on and on)just begins to feel natural. so try it in reverse and give yourself permission to be clean sober and whatever else comes your way once your life starts to heal.May God shine on your favor. Susan

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